February 2010

Behind this wall of pay is February 2010.  That's 31 days of Gareth gold.

All it costs to enter is £1.34 - that's about the same as giving a homeless person £1.34

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136 COMMENTS :

  1. By I shall be known by random animal names from this point onwards... on

    I can’t believe these updates only come once a week. It’s killing me. 🙁

    Reply ↓
  2. By Nickolas on

    I can’t believe he had nothing to do on his birthday. You’re a shitty friend Ed.

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      It was only a flight of fancy. He seems to have those a lot. He never did it (I hope).

      Reply ↓
      1. By Jay on

        Oh wow you actually replied back. And thanks for your input. Keep up the good work!

        Reply ↓
  5. By Craigy on

    Gareth shares his birthday with my Mum and my Wife. I’m sure the wife will be totally uninterested but she’s getting told anyway.

    Reply ↓
  8. By antom on

    Nice of you to leave it on a pleasant cliffhanger regarding Gareth’s manky finger, Ed…

    Reply ↓
  9. By Rabbit on

    I now feel Gareth’s pain and really hope he ends up with Hannah. However, judging by the fact you still live with him, I’m guessing that this is not the case because he should surely have moved out by now!

    Reply ↓
  10. By Cat on

    Ed, do you feel weird whenever you read parts about you? Or are you quite nonchalant about the whole thing?

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      It’s always weird, and that’s when I feel guilty (but not enough to stop). Luckily he hasn’t said anything too horrible about me.

      Reply ↓
  11. By Me on

    At the current rate of 2 days posted per week. We will 1) never catch up to modern day. 2) have to wait February 15th of 2013 to get to the end of February 2010. I love this but is there really no way of getting more days up?

    Reply ↓
  12. By Anonymous on

    Hi Ed had an idea, don’t know if you’d considered it but how about getting a scanner and copying as many pages as possible from the diary when gareth is out? Then couldn’t you copy in all out in your own time? Just a thought. Loving your work

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      I have actually answered this in the FAQs. The up shot is that yes, it would mean there would be much bigger updates, but part of the fun of it for me is the sneaking around, waiting for him to go out and transcribing as much as I can, then hurriedly putting it back when he returns. I did take a load of photos of his diary once, but it suddenly became homework. This way, if I can’t get access then I don’t have to feel guilty that I’m not transcribing. That said, I’m hoping that time off over Christmas will mean I have more opportunities to steal, and that will lead to a bigger update.

      Thanks for reading.

      Reply ↓
  13. By beths personal fitness instructor on

    hasn’t he ever been on holiday? so you could just rack through them every night for a couple of weeks? should leave some travel brochures lying around the house…….

    Reply ↓
  18. By Gareth's spermy scheme on

    Did he ever actually attempt to split you and Lispy up?

    Reply ↓
  19. By FeelsLikeASoapOpera on

    It’s friday, update pleease.

    Pretty please?

    With a cherry on top?

    Reply ↓
  20. By Martin Walsh on

    1 days worth of update for a whole week, we will never catch up at this rate man.

    Lets goet the updates quicker please

    Reply ↓
  21. By Chill Out, Kids on

    Everyone stop complaining about the speed of updates. All you’re doing is making Ed feel bad, and if anything that won’t make him update faster, it’ll make him quit because this isn’t fun anymore.

    You’re being provided with a wonderful source of free voyeuristic entertainment. Be grateful.

    Good on you Ed, keep it up at whatever pace works for you.

    Reply ↓
  22. By fidnfhin on

    If I ever win the lottery I am going to find Gareth in real life and pay him millions so I can read all his diaries haha, suspense is killing me.

    Love this website so much, thanks ED!

    Reply ↓
  23. By Samuel on

    Love this website, thanks Ed.

    I think there is something wrong with the RSS though – it just comes up with the homepage and never updates.

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      Very possibly… I don’t even know what RSS is.

      Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      Ahhh… I’ve no idea how to make it any different.

      Reply ↓
      1. By Samuel on

        I think if you removed the ‘what have I found here’ post from 1 May 2011 and put it eg in FAQ instead, that would fix the RSS. But you might not fancy that.

        cheers

        Reply ↓
  27. By Love it on

    Hellloo ed

    I love myhousematesdiary it’s the best, have you ever thought about publishing a book ? Just a tought I know some people on the comments are giving you a hard time about not posting quick enough so I have a offer to make you …. If you want you can take pictures of the diary and send them to me then i”ll transcript them for free , bet your thinking what’s in it for me well I really love my housemates diary and just want to know what happens next ! Email me m******k***@hotmail.co.uk

    Reply ↓
  30. By Panda's second hand splooge on

    Love the site Ed,

    Have shared it with everyone I know (who will listen anyway)

    That should give you possibly 2 people who will have read it 😀

    Reply ↓
  31. By Gareth's Waddling on

    Happy New Year Ed!!

    I agree with ‘Chill Out, Kids’, everyone needs to stop giving you a hard time about the speed of the updates and just be grateful that this wonderful site exists. Well played sir!

    I’m totally hooked. I do have a question though, aren’t you worried Gareth will move out and cut you off from your material? Do you have a plan?

    Plus, I hate to drop a spoiler for people but considering Gareth still lives with Ed, 3 years after the events we’re reading, what do you think are the chances that he got back with Hannah? Don’t you think he would have moved in with her by now…

    Cheers

    Reply ↓
    1. By Beth's Germy Fingers on

      This is PRECISELY what I thought earlier on in the diary… Seeing as when they broke up he had wrote about how he should have moved in with her… Perhaps he moved in with them though? Unlikely, but gives me a false sense of hope that Gareth got what he wanted and began to be happy!

      Reply ↓
    1. By maddie's lonely teddie on

      I agree, what a crock of shit get us hooked then just whip it away. Im clucking like a herion addict!

      Reply ↓
      1. By Waddling of ducks on

        What the hell is wrong with you people?!! Ed updates the site every Friday for weeks on end, then as soon as he misses a couple you’re all having a go at him! I want to know what happens as much as anyone else, but we’re lucky he does this at at all, and if people out there keep having a go at him he might pack it in altogether.

        He says in the FAQs that he does it for fun and doesn’t want it to feel like homework – well with the way people are behaving I’m not surprised he’s gone quiet on us.

        Reply ↓
        1. By Beth's Desk Drawer on

          It’s fair enough to get annoyed when it’s obviously a writer publicising a very enjoyable, but fictional, diary who says he’ll update every week, then doesn’t.

          I really hope he starts writing again soon though, this is great.

          Reply ↓
          1. By Waddling of ducks on

            I don’t think it is fake. I did initially, but not anymore.

            Even if it is, this is free entertainment and we should give the guy a break.

  33. By Liz's big tits on

    Why are lots of people ignoring the unofficial rule when naming themselves for comments??!!!!!!!

    It’s very easy to work out that you should name yourself after something mentioned in the diary. What the fuck is ‘maddie’s lonely teddy’ ????!!!!!!

    Now stop it.

    Reply ↓
  34. By Hannah takes it up the shitter on

    What sucks is that if Gareth moves out, the diaries will suddenly stop and we won’t know what has happened up to that point…Ed you should definitely photocopy as a backup for if this happens

    Reply ↓
  35. By disgusting. fucking disgusting on

    I reckon Gareth / Ed has just not been around over Christmas so there hasn’t been opportunity for transcribing. I’m sure we’ll be back on track by Friday

    Reply ↓
    1. By black corduroy trousers on

      I wouldn’t be surprised if eds pissed off with all the people bitching at him and thrown the towell in.

      Come back Ed, we love you really!

      Reply ↓
  36. By Lego Addict on

    “Hilary’s low cut top reignited my passion for her today.”

    Somebody help, I can’t remember who Hilary is.
    I did a quick scroll through of the page and this caught my attention.
    Who is she?

    Reply ↓
    1. By Overflowing bin on

      SHe’s his older work colleague. The one he tried to pull at the Christmas drinks, but she went home early.

      Read the entries before Christmas in December. Love his useless flirting.

      Reply ↓
  37. By Panda's Filthy Goo on

    Ed. I know you are under certain amounts of pressure to get the next update in. The thing is, you do not understand what this is doing to me. I check the site a couple times a day and scroll down to see “Waddling.” at the end of the updates. Normally I would not complain, but waddling is starting to get to me.

    All whining and bitching aside. Its a great site, and I hope you can keep this running for a few years to come! Thanks!

    Reply ↓
  38. By Ed's lispy bird on

    Come on Ed, stop being such a cock and update the fucking site you wanker.

    Reply ↓
    1. By Plaid Shirt on

      Fuck you Ed’s Lispy Bird (the commentator, not Ed’s actual bird).

      I’m sure there will be more, just be patient.

      Reply ↓
      1. By Ed's lispy bird on

        No, fuck you plaid shirt, and fuck everyone else tiptoeing around Ed. I agree with imp and maddie’s lonely teddie, he’s supposed to update the site every Friday and this failure to do it is bullshit.

        Fuck you Ed, gimme my Gareth!

        Reply ↓
  39. By Arithon on

    Hey you guys, leave Ed alone – it’s free,it must be good or people wouldn’t be complaining. I for one think it’s a brilliant diary/book, and I hope he gets the book deal to publish the rest.

    Reply ↓
  40. By Nick on

    Hi Ed,
    Merry christmas and happy new year! Love the site. These people complaining need to chill the fuck out. Thanks for posting this ridiculous shit,

    Reply ↓
  41. By Smelly dishwasher on

    What an update! I can’t believe the flowers trick actually worked – Gareth rules!

    Reply ↓
  42. By Face to disgrace on

    Ace update – thanks Ed! 17th Feb seems short? Thanks again.

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      That’s all there was for 17th. Short but disgusting.

      Reply ↓
    2. By Rick Scanlon's Match on

      Cheers for the update Ed, and happy new year! The entry for the 17th is a delight. Just a quick question, are you using real names here as written or are you changing them to help cover up in case Gareth ever finds out?

      Reply ↓
      1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

        I’m afraid I won’t say either way if the names are real or changed.

        Reply ↓
  44. By My nob leaked wee on

    Ahhhhh . . . Well worth the wait – thanks Ed! Do we get another tomorrow??

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      I’m afraid that now the waiting starts once more.

      Reply ↓
  45. By Beth's Loud Sneezing on

    Gareth’s flower trick: the most brilliantly disgusting plan I’ve ever read. Can’t believe it slightly worked!

    Reply ↓
  46. By Wouldn't want to knob her on

    Ed, I really hope you can somehow turn this into a pile of wealth which you can present to Gareth upon your exposure. I don’t know what else will keep your balls intact. Since we cannnot prove any of this is real, I don’t feel right about donating money. I also don’t feel like I would pay to read this stuff although I do find myself LOL consistantly. I really suggest you get some advertising and place it under a banner named “Saving Ed’s Balls Fund”. Have a counter showing the funds growth contrasted against your nuts lifeline.

    Reply ↓
  49. By Lego Addict on

    A question for you, Ed.
    Does Gareth fill you in on his plans and schemes? Did he tell you about how he sent the FUCK YOU lego? Did you know he sent flowers to Hannah without reading it in his diary?

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      Hey Lego Addict,
      Gareth’s not really a fill you in kind of guy. I saw the Lego ‘Fuck You’, but not because he showed me, it was just on his desk in his room. I have a photo somewhere.
      A lot of this diary is news to me.

      Reply ↓
  50. By My Knob Leaked Wee on

    Ed, may I just say you are a brilliant, beautiful man. This update is excellent, can’t commend you enough for the joy you bring to each of our lives. Seriously, my knob leaks a little wee every time I log on to this site

    Reply ↓
  51. By Lisp Head on

    Hi Ed, had a question for you… have you yet to meet anyone in real life who reads these? You personally? It seems the chances would be astronomical, especially if you did change the names!

    Reply ↓
  52. By Hannah takes it up the shitter on

    Hey Ed, answer me this….do you have black hair and a goatee?

    Reply ↓
  53. By Hannah takes it up the shitter on

    and when i say goatee i mean stubbly beard/beard

    Reply ↓
    1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

      I’m afraid I can neither confirm or deny. Either way I narrow down what I look like.

      Reply ↓
      1. By Hannah takes it up the shitter on

        fair enough…I won’t try and uncover your true identity. Did you have any brie this christmas? 😉

        Reply ↓
        1. By Ed (The Ed) (Post author) on

          I can neither confirm or deny the brie. Either way I’ll narrow down my cheese preferences.

          Reply ↓
  54. By SnowJoke on

    Are you not worried he will find this?
    Assuming this is real, surely he has got just as much chance as finding this site as I did, as any of us did?

    Do you reckon he would see the funny side?

    Good read though! Wish I didn’t read it all so quickly.

    Reply ↓
  55. By Soggy half-digested chip on

    The way Gareth describes Beth… she sounds lovely. If you like sick, that is.

    Reply ↓
  56. By The rectal discharge of a diseased pony on

    Another quality update. “It’ll be a shame when her looks start to go”!! What a romantic, no wonder Gareth does so well with women! Ed – thanks for this, did he ever make his own Guacamole??

    Reply ↓
  57. By Hannah takes it up the shitter on

    @King London Jack I know who he is, just wouldn’t want to spoil it 😉

    Reply ↓
  58. By Beth's equine labia mouth on

    OK, a little sad I know, but did anyone else stumble across this site by typing in the web address mentioned in the Alan Partridge autobiography (www.maskplanet.com/partridgeface)?

    I thought it was a fictitious website but I typed it in anyway, thinking there might be some kind of Partridge easter egg; what I found was so much better…

    Also, assuming Ed has nothing to do with Alan Partridge, fair play for securing that URL!

    Keep up the good/morally dubious work!

    Reply ↓
    1. By rick scanlon on

      Yes! That’s how I found it, was listening along, and thought it might be funny to have a look, and ended up here. Maybe Ed is a Partridge fan? A-ha!

      Reply ↓
    2. By Cock Piss Partridge on

      That book just keeps on giving and giving! That is exactly how I found this site! Would love to know how that ended up happening!

      Reply ↓
      1. By Cook Pass Partridge on

        I found it through the Alan Partridge book which makes me think it might not be real, which is a shame as I love it.

        Reply ↓
  59. By tara on

    When is the next installment??? Why are we behind in years? Dying to know what happens!

    Reply ↓
  60. By An Early Card for Gareth on

    Happy 33rd birthday for tomorrow Gareth! Even if you won’t read this 🙂

    Reply ↓
  61. By Gareth's subdued erection on

    I think a little bit of my soul will die if this turns out not to be real. I’m far too involved in Gareth’s life already.

    Reply ↓
  62. By Annie on

    Oh my gossshhhh it’s killing me! I can’t believe we are three years behind… who knows how much has happened. I need to know these people in real life.

    Reply ↓
    1. By SnowJoke on

      Well, if they’re still house sharing and that, we can safely assume he didn’t get back with that Hannah because 3 years on they would probably be living together, right?

      Reply ↓
  63. By Wozza on

    Wow just found this today and have read through all the days, can’t wait for some more this is just too good. when the flower-thing worked for him and Rob got upset I felt genuinely happy 🙂

    Reply ↓
    1. By Sue on

      No, in fact he tweeted the other day that there will be an update this Friday (1st March).

      x

      Reply ↓
  66. By Rob's decapitated head on

    I think this week’s update will either be a) he finally gets it on with Hannah or b) Rob gives him a beating! 🙂

    Reply ↓
  68. By Gareths teary eyes on

    well now we all know what happened thanks ed 😉

    Reply ↓
  70. By Twat Factory on

    Whoa, Hannah. Clearly not the angel he thought she was, she deserves a kick to the cunt.

    Reply ↓
  71. By Wozza on

    Wow. I guess that’s the end of the Hannah saga then! What a tramp!

    Reply ↓
  72. By Slut on

    Can’t believe Hannah did that. Time to get some revenge Lego style.

    Reply ↓
  73. By He should have shifted Rose on

    Hannah you complete cuntwhore.

    Reply ↓
  74. By Beth's Sphincter on

    What a bitch, but was inevitable really. I wonder what’s next for our hero as I can’t imagine Hannah’s going to me a focal point after this?

    Reply ↓
  75. By Wouldn't want to knob her says on

    Finally! Gareth can move on… question is will he be a fuckity fuck and waste another half year? It’ll be interesting to see if the Cunt gives the Bitch face cancer.

    Reply ↓
  76. By Lego Addict on

    “Like what you’ve read? Then ‘Like’ it below!”

    These words sound so wrong inside my head. 🙁

    Reply ↓
  77. By Wickio on

    Actually quite hard to read. Very similar to a situation I found myself in. What is up with these women?

    Reply ↓
  78. By Face cancer on

    Oh my god, I thought it would be bad but that’s just awful! Poor Gareth 🙁

    Reply ↓
  79. By Beth's streched undies on

    I knew it was coming but it didn’t make it any easier to take.

    Reply ↓
    1. By Useless piece of shit on

      Me too – and have been an ardent supporter of the site for months. Don’t feel great now though – if this is real we are spectators to a really sad past. Alternative angle is we need 6 months’ updates to decide 😉 No longer wearing my Beth badge with pride. Still wearing it though. Knew I should have studied philosophy . . .

      Reply ↓
  80. By cash machine on

    What a cunthammer! still knowing Gareth he will mull it over awhile and then need confirmation.

    Reply ↓
  81. By Face River on

    I’m going to cut that bitch in places she didn’t even know she had. Poor Gareth.

    Reply ↓
  82. By Mehvish on

    Don’t worry Gareth I still love you …… Your awesome 🙂 your what i wait for on Friday xxxx 🙂 myhousemates dairy FOREVER !!!!!

    Reply ↓
  83. By Mehvish on

    Oh yeah and Hannah your a hoe ( mind the French lol ) Gareth you deserve much better …….. Ed your a silly boy your his friend help him get back out there . Internet dating or even speed dating just a tought lol xx thank you to ED for posting post every week xx

    Reply ↓
  84. By Beth's Arse Crack on

    For the first time, reading this passage I felt voyeuristic. Gareth pours his heart out to this journal and we read it like fucking entertainment. Starting to think this may be worse than Hello magazine. God I love it but I think my soul needs me to stop reading

    Reply ↓
  85. By Hannah's Dad on

    What a whore Hannah is. Reminds me of my ex and probably the majority of females reading. Eh girls? What’s wrong with loyalty?

    Reply ↓
  86. By Ed's Guacamole on

    It seemed like things started to get better for Gareth… until 26th. I say forget Hannah. Move to Brighton. Marry the eBay bitch.

    Reply ↓
  87. By angie on

    i feel bad for him but at the same time feel like he deserves it???

    Reply ↓

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